


Dead Inside

by arienai (pikestaff)



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Gen, HHW being incredibly ridiculous as usual, Hello Happy World, Mildly Shippy, Misaki's POV, One-Shot, You could probably read it as Just Friends if you prefer that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-28 22:41:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20433644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikestaff/pseuds/arienai
Summary: Kokoro buys a present for Misaki.  The present might be a little TOO on the nose.  At least Kanon's there so Misaki's life is really only 98% surreal instead of 100% surreal, right?You can read this story as Misaki/Kanon if you want or you can read it as just friends if you want, the pairing is not really the focus.I just really love MisaKanon though so it kind of leaked through





	Dead Inside

"Oh! Misaki-chan! Before I forget, I've got something for you~" Kokoro said in a sing-songy voice.

Uh-oh. That couldn't be good. They were supposedly "practicing", although Misaki had serious doubts about this fact. This practice session had, in fact, involved very little actual music and a lot of Kokoro recounting her recent trip to the department store, which she apparently found to be the highlight of her week thus far. She was talking about all the things she'd found on sale (Sales, Kaoru pointed out, were incredibly fleeting, just like life itself) and how somehow she now had birthday gift ideas for every single person in school. ("Oooh! It's great to be prepared, isn't it, Kokoro-chan!" Hagumi had said here.)

But now, her slightly terrifying gaze was firmly directed at Misaki. "Do you want to see it?" she asked.

"I... don't have a choice, do I," said Misaki.

As usual, Kokoro seemed to hear something completely different than what was actually said. "Great!" she exclaimed. "It mostly reminded me of Michelle, but they didn't have it in bear size. I even asked! But I thought since you're Michelle's friend, you'd love it too!"

One of the Suits approached, suddenly, and handed Kokoro a gift bag. She took it and gave it to Misaki. "There you go!" she said triumphantly.

Misaki was a bit scared to look, but she did. From her vantage point peering in, it appeared to be a completely innocuous shirt.

She pulled it out of the bag. Printed on it were several cute cartoon animals. There was a bunny, a cat, a dog, and, of course, a pink bear. That must have been the part that had caught Kokoro's attention. The animals were all frolicking underneath a rainbow... and among several English letters.

It took Misaki a few moments to read and understand them, but then she did:

"DEAD INSIDE".

...huh.

Kanon, standing next to her, seemed to be able to read and understand the words too. "Um..." she said.

"So, Kokoro-san," said Misaki with a half-smile. "Do you know what this says?"

"Nope!" Kokoro said brightly. "But I bet it says something happy and fun!"

"I see." Misaki contemplated whether or not to tell her that it did not exactly say something happy and fun. She had just decided against it when Kaoru looked over at the shirt. "Ah!" she gasped, and held a hand up to her forehead. "'Dead Inside!' What a touching message... a reminder that all of us will eventually shuffle off this mortal coil, as Shakespeare once said... how... remarkably fleeting!"

"Wh... what? 'Dead inside?'" Hagumi looked over, concerned.

Kokoro was the only one who appeared to be thoroughly unperturbed. "Huh?" She tilted her head. "Where does it say that?"

"On the shirt," Misaki sighed. She was very much wishing that Kaoru hadn't said anything.

Kokoro looked at it. She tilted her head and looked again. She was, somewhat disconcertingly, still smiling. "I don't see it!" she said brightly after a moment. "I just see a wonderful gift that reminded me of you!"

"Ah, a gift from the heart, from one true friend to another..." Kaoru was launching into a monologue again.

Misaki sighed. Maybe it was best not to press this. She certainly didn't want to be the one to have to explain the concept of death to Kokoro, which she was increasingly thinking this would all turn into.

"Anyway!" Kokoro interrupted her thoughts. "You should put it on!"

"What?" Misaki blinked. "Right now?"

"Yeah!" Kokoro's smile somehow managed to get even wider.

Kanon spoke up. "Um, Kokoro-chan, maybe she should go somewhere private to get changed."

"Thank you," Misaki mumbled to her.

"Okay!" Kokoro said. "You can use the bathroom just outside. Any of them. There's six of them in this hall, you know."

"Yeah, I know," Misaki said under her breath as she left the room.

She picked the closest one, and Kanon followed her in. "Misaki-chan, are you okay?" she asked. "It is kind of a... weird gift."

"It is a little weird, yeah," Misaki agreed as she looked at herself in the mirror and then down at the shirt, and then back up at herself again. "But Kokoro-san is definitely weird, and anyway, I suppose it fits me, a little."

Kanon looked concerned by that statement. "You mean... you feel like that? 'Dead Inside'?"

God, Kanon was too cute, wasn't she? Misaki couldn't help but smile at her. "I mean, don't we all, sometimes? Besides, it's sort of dark and sarcastic. I guess I relate."

"Ah... I suppose so," said Kanon.

Misaki pulled off her current shirt and put the new one on. She felt comfortable enough with Kanon to do it with her in the room. Kanon was the one helping her into Michelle half the time anyway. Her presence was reassuring.

Once she had the shirt on, Misaki looked in the mirror. DEAD INSIDE, said the words staring back at her. It was really kind of hilarious. "Well, how do I look?" she said sarcastically and turned to Kanon.

Kanon smiled at her. "I think you look good, but then... you always do, really."

Oh. Misaki hadn't been expecting a serious answer, so she blushed a bit and turned back to the mirror. "Thanks, Kanon-san," she said.

"Misaki-chan," said Kanon. "I know the shirt is silly, but... I think Kokoro-chan got it because she really cares about you. It's like Kaoru-san said... a gift from the heart."

"Well, if one of the idiots is right about something, you know it's serious," Misaki said with a wry smile.

"Do you like being in the band?" Kanon asked, suddenly. "I know it's... well, it's probably not what you were expecting at all. And that's okay, if you don't really like it. Maybe if you don't, we figure out a way to get someone else to be Michelle. I know the others won't be able to tell the difference."

Misaki looked at her and then looked back at her reflection. She was truly grateful for Kanon's presence. She was an anchor in the cheerfully choppy waves that were Kokoro's personality. It was a good question, too. Did she enjoy being in the band?

The reflection of the shirt was looking back at her. _Dead inside._

Maybe she wasn't quite so dead inside, she supposed. No one who was truly dead inside could put up with all this nonsense, right?

She was still _mostly_ dead inside, though. She was going to keep at least a little dignity.

"I think I like it," she said, finally. "For the most part."

Before Kanon could respond, Kokoro, Hagumi, and Kaoru all nearly kicked down the door and marched in. "Oh! There you are!" said Kokoro.

"Well... yeah, you told me to change here," said Misaki.

"Amazing!" Kokoro exclaimed. "Michelle is going to love it when she sees it!"

"I'm... sure she will," said Misaki.

Hagumi approached her, distressed. "But Misaki-chan! Does it really say 'Dead Inside'? Doesn't that sound... sad? I don't want you to be sad!" Her eyes were round with concern.

"Don't worry," Misaki reassured her. "It's just a joke."

"Oh!" Hagumi brightened considerably. "That's good! I think you look great in it, Misaki-chan!"

"Such a joyous occasion, isn't it?" said Kaoru. She seemed to be talking to her own reflection in the mirror. "It was wise of Kokoro to gift the shirt to you and not to me. Between the shirt and my own sinful visage, I don't think many little kittens could have been able to control themselves. This is a burden that I carry with me daily, but I do it solely for the loving hearts of my many fans."

"Okay everyone!" Kokoro said brightly, her hands on her hips. "Back to practice!"

One by one they filed out. Kanon and Misaki were the last to go. Misaki looked again at her shirt in the mirror. "I guess this is my life now, isn't it?" she said.

Kanon smiled at her.

And, as always, Misaki was glad she did.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on an actual shirt I saw someone wearing lmao.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> ~ http://twitter.com/pikestaff


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